Updated: Apr 15
In the past year, I have done a better job than I ever have at dealing with my mental health and combating depression. Yerp, I said it. That scary-ass word with all the stigmas and connotations and reputations we despise, it's terrible and fucked up and we hate it. But, it exists. As cliche and corny as it sounds, it doesn't have to be scary. Depression has become a part of who I am, and it doesn't always mean I'm some sad, pathetic, man-child like I always used to think it did. I can accept who I am now and even enjoy it, a reality I never saw coming back in 2016 or 2017.
This revelation doesn't mean I didn't have a few bumps this year, or that I don't feel small stints of "unwarranted" sadness. It means now when those things happen, rather than having a very public meltdown as I've had in the past, I know how to calm down and assess the situation properly. I still struggle with some bad habits that don't help, and im a bit emotional/theatric even in sometimes mundane situations, but I have decided in 2020 I am taking the steps I need to correct the things I don't appreciate about my self-image.
I am hoping to begin posting blog updates on here on various ramblings, epiphanies, anecdotes and lessons I come face to face with on this journey I'm on to becoming the best version of me possible, now that I finally realize it's an attainable goal. I'll be posting here when those updates come up, and I hope they can help some people. And if not, maybe just help them understand. I want nothing more than to help people, bring myself and others joy and practice the morals I've grown to believe in. I've misstepped along the way but am making the promise to myself to do better. By myself and others. The blog portion of this website is going to start receiving some amazing new content. We've assembled a team of extremely talented writers to share anecdotes, comedy, informative essays, short stories, poetry and more. I'll be contributing to a few of these topics, as well as continuing our regular music articles on the underground scene we work so closely with at Faded Morgana.
thanks to everyone for the kind words, support, advice, and friendship over the years. I wouldn't be where I am without all of you and I have tried my hardest to show you all how much it means to me as our adventures and stories have lengthened. I have worked hard and done all I have so far to show you all I can climb back up from any bottom, and I am grateful for the help and love I've received a long the way. With that being said... this time, I am doing this for myself.
"I made to take the ribbon of kelp from off her painted eyes, then thought better of it, not wishing her to suffer the terrible distractions of that grim tideline. It was all I could do for her, though she had borne me through seas of blood, though her cold, wooden breast had nourished me in the heart of the storm. Her damp embrace had prevented me from drifting beyond reach, yet this small comfort was all I could offer. I could not love her as she had loved me"
- Watchmen, Alan Moore